At first I was afraid, I was petrified. I’d heard all about the Mooncup in my first year of uni, when I got so grossed out that I tried to shove my entire hand into my own mouth to stop myself from screaming. A cup! That you put in your tuppence! That collects all your minging menstrual blood and you have to BOIL IT IN A PAN TO KEEP IT CLEAN! Like some kind of mad hippy!
Gross, right? Totally.
The thing is, and I don’t know how, really, I came round to the idea. As recently as a few months ago, one of my Super Progressive Feminist friends mentioned her Mooncup and I was just like “sister-girl, you gross me out. Tampax! For serious here!” and then, a couple months down the line: epiphany. Like the clouds parted and a ray of sunlight landed squarely on a weird little silicone cup and I just went “oh, right, yeah, no that does make sense actually…go figure”
So I bought a Mooncup.
Now, don’t worry. This isn’t one of those posts. You know the ones. They’re all Goddess this and empowerment that. They’re all like “I bathed my hands in my menstrual blood and ran with the wolves in my mind and it was so magical and I spell women like womyn!” This isn’t one of those posts because that all is total crap and let’s be real here, there’s nothing magical or GODDESS about your period. It happens, you get crampy, grumpy and maybe a bit lumpy and then you get over it. Plus, shit loads of women don’t have periods, so what gives with shutting them out of your Goddess Club, ladies?
So yeah, the Mooncup. Man it’s weird looking. And bigger than you expect. And the first time you use it, get ready for suction, and weird suction-noises, and having to trim its tail, and generally being a bit like “so this is what I do now, is it? This is me on the toilet putting a silicone cup in my foof like that’s just OK, huh?” but then once you stand up you’re like “holy cow, I feel nothing!”
I think my main issue with the Mooncup, when I feared it, was that I’d be handling blood, and isn’t that kind of gross? Well, newsflash: there’s a knack to it, and once you figure out your knack, it’s as involved and bloody as changing a tampon.
Because, let’s be honest here, for a minute, OK. Tampons aren’t all that, when you think about it. We’ve all been there, using too high an absorbency for that particular day, or just pulling it out before it’s ‘ready’ and HOLY FUCK OW SERIOUSLY. Because they leech all moisture from the area, and stick to the inside of your vag, and seriously how is that OK? And how did I think, for all those years, that a Mooncup was somehow this gigantic, disgusting thing, when I was shoving bleached fabric up my minge and letting it do that? Oh, and that whole “you can go for a wee and not change your tampon” thing? Show me ONE PERSON who has ever been able to get away with that without getting the tiniest bit of pee on the string, and I will give you 50p and a wink. You can go for a pee without bothering your Mooncup because, well, that’s just the way it is.
Then there’s the waste issue. A woman will chuck away an estimated 10,000 tampons or pads in her life. Imagine that! All that going to landfill or THE SEA!
The thing is, though, I don’t want you to think I’m preaching, or telling you how to deal with your period. You think the Mooncup is gross? Fine, don’t use it! You’re happy using tampons or pads? Rock on, girlfriend! It’s your freaking period.
The Mooncup hasn’t put me in a position of empowerment, or taught me about the divine natural rhythm of womanhood, or given me any magical powers. The Mooncup has saved me a fuck-ton of money (it’s £20 and can last up to 10 years), taught me my actual menstrual flow (so now I know, better than I used to, what kind of a pattern I have) and it’s made my period so much easier to deal with. Can I get a little “amen” over here, please?
@Becca_DP is one of my favourite writers of all time. I may actually make her a ‘queen of funnies’ crown and some special feminist leggings* to wear to the AWOT picnic. She writes an absolutely top notch blog, which I recommend you bookmark immediately. And if you like what you see here, follow her on Twitter toute suite. It only gets better.
*these strongly resemble lederhosen. Definitely marketable.